Cher journal, Today marks one year since my attempted suicide. I find it difficult to see progress in long-term things, but when I think about where I was a year ago in comparison to now, I am very proud of myself. Yes, I still suffer from mental illness and, yes, I still have bad days, … Continue reading 21st October
Cher journal, When I was eleven years old my grandma took me to Calais in France, it was there that I fell in love with everything French. Although Calais isn't the most authentically French city, to my eleven year old self it was incredible. Since then I've dreamed of living in France, becoming a cliche … Continue reading Au Revoir!
If we were to pass each otherOn the streets of Paris,Would we be strangers?Should I continue mySilent cries of heartwrenchingGuilt?Am I lost? Or simply blind toWhere I am.This denial won't save me fromThe sun setting.So may I paint my words through painAnd childish rhymes, Like a broken swallow patheticallyMending its wing.Will words of love from … Continue reading A Note to a Stranger
I could confess that once again I am disappointed that you didn't wish me happy birthday. I could admit that not a day goes by where your name doesn't cross my mind.I could reveal my true feelings instead of persisting through my life with stubbornness.I could divulge all the reasons why I wish I didn't … Continue reading 1AM Confessions
Although I can live without you by my side,I am not truly living.I am living for myself, but I want to live for you as well.And if you were completely gone,I would not dare to even open my eyes,For I could not exist without you, I know in my heart I would never smile. My … Continue reading A Lesson in Love
Utter darkness,Only a single flameFlickering, dancing.A Monarch butterfly or perhaps a moth,Neither are mine, yet I'm drawn toThe flame alike.Lift your swift fingers andDelicately trace your own designOn my metamorphosing skin.Why must change take place in darkness?My New Moon, mon Soleil,I wish for only light to trickle downAnd consume me.May I be your undying votive?Perhaps … Continue reading Une Lumière Douce
"You say I killed you- haunt me then!"
Moonlight beams trickle downMy bare legs,Propped up on a windowsill,Looming in swift cloudsAnd an ever-changing palette ofColours that paint the night sky.Faint humming from my lips asA familiar ache fills my chest- My salty water tastes unnoticeable.I breathe deep; be still my heart. Turning my back on moonbeams,I sink into the shadows. Let me lurk,Until … Continue reading Lunae Lumen
When hope is goneAnd I lie down my weary head. I know it is your voice I will hear,That will bring me back to awakenAgain.As the sun setsAnd night creeps in,I know it is your laugh I will hear,That will raise my spirits.When I am lonelyAnd fear the dark,I know it is you that will … Continue reading Krasivo Momiche
Fast-flowing water seepsThrough the cracks in my mind - is it time?Perhaps this is what I've beenWaiting for, I've been a stagnant lakeFor far too long.I feel my hair whip overMy eyes, I can finally see.Excitement rushes through meAs I watch the flood gates open. I don't mind drowning.Ripples of poison flow throughMy veins - … Continue reading Spring Waters